Saturday, December 17, 2005

Lucha Va Voom


Dragon Lady
Originally uploaded by medusahead.
Mexican Wrestlers. Ladies of Burlesque. Patton Oswalt. The Mayan Theater. I will miss you Lucha va Voom.

Friday, December 16, 2005

That Other House of David


I will miss you, House of Naked Davids, not because you are like the Barbie dreamhouse on crack, what with your day-glo Mercedes and Explorer painted like a smoggy LA sunset, not because of your kick-line of naked Davids, clad in nothing but their Santa hats and the bronzey glow of the lion medallions that lend the house its playful Medieval Times flair, not because you named yourself "Youngwood Court" instead of Maison de Naughty Sculpture, but because your holiday spirit lasts YEAR ROUND, giving the people naked David cheer while drastically driving down the market value of surrounding, tax-paying neighbors' homes for as long as they try to bask in your burnt sienna brilliance. I say that's the Giving spirit.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Goodbye Electric Karma


Electric Karma is my favorite place to eat in Los Angeles. I defy you to leave in a bad mood. Tender chicken tikka masala, awesome naan, volcano hot samosas, free puppadum with that mysterious, yummy green sauce and the Bollywood! They've got a sexy little patio, but if you opr for al fresco dining, you miss the nonstop Bollywood montage screening in the main dining room. I will miss you, Aishwarya Ray, you of the green eyes and chaste dance routines in front of office buildings. I will miss you, Jeans, you, the biggest Bollywood star in India, not because you are handsome, because you are not, nor for your dance moves, which bring to mind horses, palsy and medical attention. Ok, I have no idea why you are the biggest star in Bollywood, but everytime you're on screen, I cannot look away or maintain civilized conversation. I know that's not your real name, that after some embarrassingly long research I finally tracked you down, only to realize you'll always be Jeans to me. I will miss you the most.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Fat Lady Sang

Oh I'm so becoming psycho ex-girlfriend. Somehow I fell madly, passionately in love with this city. It's misguided sure, like a Texas oilman's love for a dithering Guess model, or like my love for cheese. I take a bite. It bites me back. I can't help it. I came out here like everybody, fresh from the nap about the California dream, and found, eight years later, a husband, friends I'd slay fire breathing endangered unicorns for, oaxacan tamales and an abandoned border collie, but no career to speak of. Lots of close calls, dropped agents, missed connections and coffees. And times is up. My husband has been offered a job back in my hometown of Memphis which will be awesome for him. Not so sure about me. Not sure I want to end up in the place I started. But I don't want to go. That simple. So while I wait for the fates to slap each other back and forth if and when we start filling the moving boxes, I'm gonna start this blog, little love letters to the city that was too busy minding its other million little bambinos to pay much attention. Maybe if I take pictures of it, talk about how pretty and interesting and quirky and never-ever nagging it is, it'll love me right back. Make some Hollywood magic so I never, ever have to leave. Oh, enough with the pity. I know it's mostly my fault. They say in every relationship one always loves the other more. I happily accept my place.